Yes, it tells us that you participate in the mass cultural delusion that the sun's apparent position relative to arbitrarily defined constellations at the time of your birth somehow affects your personality.
是的，它告诉我们，你参与的群众文化有个错觉，以为太阳的视位置相对于任意星座的定义你的出生，在某种程度上影响你的人格。
You did not “break up” with Joyce Kim. She defected to North Korea.
你没有与乔伊斯·金“分手”。她叛逃到北韩。
Ah gravity, thou are a heartless bitch.
啊，地心引力，你是一个无情无义的婊子。
I help the weak. It’s yet another way I’m exactly like Batman.
我向来帮助弱者。又一次证明了我就是蝙蝠侠在世。
Leonard, I platonically love you, man, but face it, you’re a mess.
莱纳德，在精神上我还是很喜欢你的，兄弟，但是请你面对现实，你就是一团糟。
Oh, dear lord. A man pops out for a moment to evacuate his bowels and catch up on the adventures of the Caped Crusader, only to emerge to find his apartment has been transformed into a cabaret.
哦，真要命。人家只是走开了一下，清了清肠子，顺便追一下斗篷战士的冒险之旅，再出来就发现人家的公寓赫然变成了卡巴莱酒馆了。
Oh, I see why you’re confused. No, her news sounded important, but what you’re forgetting is it was an achievement in the field of biology. That’s all about yucky, squishy things.
我知道你为什么会困惑。她的消息听上去很重要，可你忘了那是生物学领域的成就。都是恶心黏黏的东西。
It’s after nine o’clock. At this hour the streets of Pasadena are teeming with drunken sailors and alley cats.
已经过九点了，这时候的帕萨迪纳街头到处是喝醉的水手和野猫。
Hard as this may be to believe, it’s possible I’m not boyfriend material.
说出来可能也没人信，我可能不是当男朋友的料。
Ooohhh, my life-size cardboard Mr. Spock is here. I know he wouldn’t care for an outburst of human emotions, but, oh goody, oh goody, oh goody!
我的真人大小的卡纸板史波克先生到了。我知道他不喜欢常人情感的瞬间流露，可是，好棒哦，好棒哦，好棒哦。
Live long and suck it, Zachary Quinto.
生生不息，早日去死，扎克瑞·昆图。
I have sheep, I need wood. Who has wood for my sheep?…. I just want wood. Why are you making it so hard?
我现在有绵羊，缺硬木。谁能拿硬木换我的绵羊?人家只是想要硬木而已。有必要搞的这么难啊?
Speaking of cowboys, do you know what country has, not one, but two cows on its flag? The tiny landlocked nation of Andorra. Oooh, the next classic episode of Sheldon Cooper Fun With Flags is writing itself!
说道牛仔，知道哪个国家的国旗印着两只牛吗?内陆小国家，安道尔共和国。由谢尔顿.库珀出品的《旗帜的乐趣》精彩下一集题材如泉涌啊。
Explain to me an organizational system where a tray of flatware on a couch is valid. I'm just inferring that this is a couch, because the evidence suggests the coffee table is having a tiny garage sale.
向我解释一个组织系统，在那里一盘扁平餐具在沙发上是有效的。我只是推测，这是一个沙发，因为有证据表明咖啡桌上有一个小车库出售。
I am truly sorry for what happened last night. I take full responsibility and I hope it won't color your opinion of Leonard, who is not only a wonderful guy but also, I hear, a gentle and thorough lover.
我真的对昨晚发生的事情感到抱歉。我承担所有的责任，我希望它不会影响你对伦纳德的看法，他不仅是一个好男人，而且我听说，一个温柔而周密的爱人。
At least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so that you don't crash into geek mountain again.
只是你现在还能从燃烧的废墟里找回装满对她美妙幻想的黑匣子，好好分析下数据你就不会再坠入“呆子谷”。
I think that you have as much of a chance of having a sexual relationship with Penny as the Hubble Telescope does of discovering at the center of every black hole is little man with a flashlight searching for a circuit breaker.
听着，我认为你能跟Penny做爱的几率跟哈勃太空望远镜发现在每个黑洞中央都有个小人在用闪光灯寻找断路器的几率一样大。
There's always the possibility that alcohol and poor judgment on her part might lead to a nice romantic evening.
酒精加上她一时糊涂总有可能让今晚成为浪漫之夜。
There wouldn't have been any ass kickings if that stupid death ray had worked.
如果那该死的死亡放射线能用我就不会挨打了。
I thought she was a highly evolved creature of pure intellect, like me. But recent events indicate that she may be a slave to her baser urges.
我以为她是个高度进化的纯高智商物种，就像我。而最近的事件表明她也许不过是个屈服于低级欲望的生物。
If the correct way to do it is the wrong way, then I yield.
如果胡来才是正确的方法的话，那我闭嘴。
Sheldon: Scissors cuts paper, paper covers rock, rock crushes lizard, lizard poisons Spock, Spock smashes scissors, scissors decapitates lizard, lizard eats paper, paper disproves Spock, Spock vaporizes rock, and as it always has, rock crushes scissors.
谢耳朵：剪刀剪纸，纸包石头，石头砸蜥蜴，蜥蜴毒死斯巴克，斯巴克击碎剪刀，剪刀砍断蜥蜴，蜥蜴吃了纸，纸反驳斯巴克，斯巴克蒸发石头，最后就是一直都那样的，石头硌坏剪子。
Howard is teaching Sheldon Chinese.
Howard: You know, I'm really glad you decided to learn Mandarin.
Sheldon: Why?Howard: Once you're fluent, you'll have a billion more people to annoy instead of me.
霍华德：话说，你终于要学普通话了我还真高兴。
谢耳朵：为嘛?
霍华德：等你说顺溜了，有十多亿中国人民等着你去烦，你就不用来烦我了。